An old photograph album©

Memory does not fade away
As the patina on a photograph.

So I shall look at these
Supplementing the Colors
Sights and sounds
From memory
Jigsaw pieces
All are there..
but the picture is never complete.

Black and white photgraph-
Faded to a dull brown
Carefree childhood
Her sticky hand in mine.
"Let this day last forever"
She said then sobbed
The sun was hot and icecream melts
In cold brown puddles.
My best friend crying
Gave her mine.
Curly haired little angel
Sharer of the wonder
Caterpillars become butterflies
Sunflecked days of laughter
Paper boats down the stream.
They moved away
Soon forgotton grief
The boy next door had a new bicycle.

The color on this one
Has all but faded
But her eyes gleam out
Behind granny glasses
Straight hair
Tightly pulled back.
Controlled in appearance, in work, in all
Arch nemesis
Must do bettter than her.
That was what drove me relentless
We loved to hate each other
Rathe rI loved to hate her.
Different factions in class
She was more popular.
Persistent persecution?
Maybe that only what I felt
She was not my rival
But the setter of my standards.
My drive to exceed her
Became my drive to excel.


New School
And all other memories fade away
Except of that head
outlined by the window.
Blue and grey
That was the color of the uniform?
I only rember the tints of sunlight
Through the hair
Glorious raven curls that kissed that cheek
The shining halo around that pretty face.
The wastepaper basket quickly filled up
With unwritten sheets
The letter I had in my heart
the one she never got
My medals had a muse,
My games successes a reason
The husky Hello that made me lose my voice.
Never told..
Hurt all the more
When my best friend went out with her.


Lost in the limbo between exams
College
The onerous burden of a new freedom
Tentative steps in yung adulthood.
Que Sera sera
But the future had to be as I willed it.
And I needed to know it.
She understood
The lawn at night.
Nightouts at the library.
A common goal
incomprehensible equations
The dusty scrawl on the black board
Made sense in that immaculate handwriting.
A movie or two here
Shared Pizzas
( in the month beginnings,
for the rest, the canteen would do)
Common friends
Accidentally brushed fingers
But nothinn g meant, nothing said or was it?
Then "Keep in touch"
so trite
But neither did that.


"I do not need your pictures
I have you in my heart"
So I had to make do only with one.
This one.
THe mouth soft, curved full.
Enticing, sultry, delicious
Stolen Kisses
Just one more.. still more
Don't Stop
"no" but surely she meant "yes"
Warmth and laughter
Tempestuos torturer of those torrid nights
And yet
There was no we
Just she and me
And our ways were different
Mutually agreed
But incomplete
Disaster if it went full cirlce
We met
We kissed
Again and yet again
And then...
We parted



Each one different
Each my love
But only one story
For
Each started where the last had left off
Are the jigsaw puzzles
Now falling into place?

But something is missing
Not there in the pictures

Perched
On the arm of my chair
Nestled by my side
Laughing softly
At the stories
The last piece
The keystone
Of the jigsaw
of my life

My wife
Companion
helpmeet
Friend
Critic
Lover
My right hand
My mirror
Alter Ego

It was you I glimpsed in all
Only snatches
Mourned the loss of illusion
Little realizing
The reality I would find

My first love
you in part
and my last romance
You in all.