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Sunday

Lesson 1: Feminist is not a Dirty word

International Women’s Day is in close danger of becoming just another one of those days wherein some ideals are brought out of the closet, speeches made, a few marches undertaken, protests made, tea and refreshments had and then the ideals carefully dusted away, not to see the light of day till the next year. I correct myself, it has become that.
It has had an interesting history. Beginning with a very socialist base in 1909 in the USA, it became adopted by countries of the former Iron Curtain as a secular Spring holiday and is now beginning to become just another one of those Hallmark holidays- with a few speeches and pretences at equality thrown in. And it is not because the day has lost its relevance. If anything, Women’s Day is far more relevant now than at any other time.
Because somehow “Feminism” has become a dirty word. I have absolutely no idea why it happened. Feminism is just the radical notion that men and women are equal. And claiming, often too proudly as a lot of women do, “I am no feminist” is almost like agreeing that men are definitely the superior sex. Just a matter of semantics, you say. Because feminism is equated to the bra-burning (who in their right mind would or could burn that all-important garment, I do not know) set, or to the caricature of the chain-smoking, man-hating, hairy-legged lesbian. Not too attractive, the media tells us. Of course it is another thing that feminine attractiveness is something entirely dictated by what big business decides will sell their products better. Notions of feminine attractiveness are so much foisted on us by the opinions of others that they have even ceased to seem like shackles.
But, I digress. We were discussing why feminist is a dirty word. The other “F” word. In my humble opinion, it is because the negatives associated with it are so great that people do not like the association, and they publicly rush to denounce it, without bothering to educate themselves about it. Rather like "atheist", but that is another story. And there is the overwhelming apology, “Men and women have their innate differences…but….” Why on earth do we women apologize so much? For being, thinking, even existing? It is ridiculous. Almost as if we were afraid for having our own thoughts, because we need approval from the masculine half of humanity. Again a process of socialization. Learned at Momma’s knee “Say sorry for everything..” And so we keep on.
No one is denying the innate biological differences between men and women. But we are all part of the human species. Equal halves if anything else. Biologically that is. And only biologically. Because where hormones do not matter, as in matters of the mind, of tactile skill, or the law, the human species is equal. Specially under the law. Other differences are individual not gender-specific.
Yet, women keep saying sorry. For daring to think they deserve an equal deal. And the few brave men (brave because they get called a lot of uncomplimentary words in a lot more derogatory ways) who try to stand up for women’s rights need to specify its about equality, not superiority. And superiority of a sex is really stupid concept, considering that unless we learn the secret of parthenogenesis the human species would die out. As it would anyhow if we let one sex bred out.
So feminism is not a very bad really. Actually it is not sex-specific either. Men have been, are and can be feminists too. Revolutionary thought isn’t it? John Stuart Mill was one of earliest ones. He lent his name to Harriet Taylor to publish her Essays on the subjugation of women (this was in the really dark ages when women were not allowed to publish tracts, or even have the brains to do so. And it was nto so long ago either). The point I am making is, if it was good enough for John Stuart Mill, surely it is good enough for a bunch of men now.
So now that we have reclaimed the F word from the undeserved infamy it had, we can concentrate on matters of importance like how to establish a more “equal” culture. Till then, keep repeating to yourself ”Feminism is NOT a bad word”.

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