True Love©

“Oh X is busy these days, chatting with the love of his life. He has no time for us also” I have lost count of the number of times I have heard that statement. Amazingly it never fails to surprise me each time. Because X most always is a relative who has just successfully shopped for a bride. And of course the love is his bride-to-be. And of course the time spent in finalizing the lady from “a girl I am going to see” to “life-partner” has is less than the time it typically takes him to buy new shoes. And of course the wedding is next month or maybe next week( if X is visiting from the US- funny that one rarely hears of coming from the Gulf or the UK for bride shopping- or maybe that brand of NRIs is not important enough- but I digress.)

So there we have true love. In a system more unsure than Russian roulette. What does it feel like? Is it a shopping expedition? With slightly less involvement- because after all there is only a limited number of candidates one sees- as opposed to the many options available wheen one shops.. or is it like a job interview.. structured, clean, quick, minimum emotion involved. Job opening- wife, helpmeet, soulmate( dare I sully that word?) Applications - from shadi,com, bhraratmatrimony.com or whatever… Shorlisting- on convent education, good family, “fair”( I am surprised how many people look for that)” beautiful homely girl( now isn’t that a contradiction in terms) , caste and stuff. But if it is a groom being shopped for – salary( expected won’t do sorry, needs be good), US Green Card…( I wonder how non-US, non-Green carded people perpetuate the human race…) ,good family( very subjective if you ask me) . And followed by stiff chaperonage( Do they still balance a tray of goodies sashaying in a sari, or is that my hyperactive imagination fed by too many Hindi movies) the clichéd”what are you looking for in a life-partner?” ( please change that bloody question- all my cousins have told me they asked, were-asked that…) and there we are. True love.

Makes me think about myself and Kalyan. It took two, nearly three years. Of talking every single day. Of assessing if the attraction was not just “randomness” but “surety” Of monologues and dialogs. Of spending time together, doing things together- even living together. Of growing confident in the realization that this other person is there for me, of knowing that no matter what happens- this person is going to be there- as I for him. Now and forever.

Maybe we are just slow.