Tangling the Sheets(C)

I have been tangling the sheets all day now. And spending the nights tossing restlessly worrying about them. Pristine white, then those with stripes and little strange patters. Forwards and backwards, Up and down. It is exhausting work.

Dragging certainly is. The mouse is not going to cooperate- it leaves behind these little black marks-which vanish in a while. Droppings, the software guy said, and when I looked incredulous- stared at me as if I was from Mars.

A cheekily asked #NAME? I am tempted to answer Alankrita- the last time I did I had this weird “Assistant”- who gets in the way more often than not -am not going not install it , next time( Do I want a next time with this software?)-but they tell me, its not easy to escape- I guess you do manage to escape it at times, if you have really good karma, or if you lived so far away that Santa Claus did not get you Christmas presents. Anyhow the Assistant- of little assistance- popped up and declared I was wrong- that little red cross that I have learnt to dread. That certainly stopped me.
Conscientious that I am, I do not usually let my ego get in he way of my job, but this was too much- a half formed pop-eyed paper clip calling my God-given (alright- Mum-given name- but I respect my mum a lot) an error. So I retreat to that little space at the trop of the screen- with the cross and click on that.
Nothing, then a #DIV/0! I give up- an affront to my prowess at math- not legendry by any means, but certainly good enough to make ICSE give me a 90+ and what was good enough for them is certainly good enough here.

But I need to persist. So click on the sigma. The blessed thing refuses to add stuff unless the numbers are laid out vertically. Transpose, ought to work. However, there is a caveat here too. You cannot copy, then click on a cell in the copied space and do a Paste Special- Transpose (- why is transposing pasting special, I would like to know?- but lets leave that for later)
Well a couple of trials later- I manage and find a row of #REF .My goodness gracious me, the formula did not copy out- it had mixed reference- even college admissions are not so stringent about references… what is this, a prototype of Harvard business School?

VLOOKUP- and woe to you if you look down. Or manage to remove those dollar signs- Yes, this is an American software, but need it be so blatantly money minded. Again one of those # error messages. NA- it says, why in the name of everything that is right is something not applicable?

The Auto fill is taking the wrong formula. I mean, it is the correct formula but the wrong cell- Aha another reference problem. Whoever said Artificial Intelligence was no match for Natural Stupidity, did not know the depths of cheerful idiocy software- this one in particular- was capable of. And comma after comma after comma.
Auto Correct- no please do NOT and Please do NOT Auto Fill ether. Even though the first four letters may be the same I AM trying to write a DIFFERENT name.
I am tempted to use a four letter word- HELP, In innocence I click on it- and the popeyed one pops up. NO I scream silently- but type in my problem nevertheless. Only to get links to everything else- but what I specifically asked for.

Much nerve wracking Coffee mugs alter, when even a Pivot table is made ready- the guy at the next table knows his stuff! a hasty double click creates a strange series of Egyptian hieroglyphs that normally would have plotted as a single graph. Row column interchange required. Why in goodness did my capable software think about this? Alright we are there- slow and easy does it. When all the painstakingly typed figures are obscured by a chart-here graphs are called charts.
Edit the Location and it appears before the sheet where I have performed my analysis- I will first look at the higgledy lines- get totally confused and then move on to understand what causes them- unless I am Arabic and I open things right to left.

Jesus Saves- so must I. And lose the whole thing- after I exit it. Wrong folder- happens with Windows all the time. But it is a false alarm- there is my Workbook (sheet in a book- well alright have it your way) all safe and sound. Only it has somehow managed to get really heavy- it is virtual mind you, but weighty. Something like 20MB. For just one page of calculation? Wow, I really did a lot of work today!
But I cannot attach and send it. My poor email will stagger under the weight. Save it again- under another name. Now why did I not think so? Probably because I am normal. Yes, that’s closer-203 KB now. I send it before it decides to grow in size again.

Boss says he will give me more opportunities to (MS) Excel at my work.
I wonder if besides Goal Seek, there is a Job Seek Analysis