Living Happily Ever After (C)

So the dragon is killed, our hero and heroine say those three magic words to each other and sail happily away into the sunset. And after the fairy tale wedding the fairy tale is over.

Perhaps in the idealized context.

Not in the Indian Love marriage context. Not for the heroine of the love story. Because the dragon reincarnates( very true to the Hindu tradition) as the monsters-in-law. And mind you it is not only the female of the species I am talking about.

Much like the Hydra of old that Hercules beheaded and watched while one head gave way to two new ones, is the rising clamor of expectations from you . Because strange forms of Greek tragedy emanate from the simple process of having married the “beloved” son. Never mind that he was a largely neglected portion of the clan prior to the nuptials. Never mind that he was largely ignored in the light of his oh so wonderful cousins and or siblings. Oh now suddenly maternal and paternal love comes outpouring in the form of vitriol for you- how dare you steal away that bundle of joy from his rightful family.

Woe betide if you should express surprise at the extreme coldness you are subject to in your outlaws home. “It is her son” the old cats whisper, “you need to adjust” Learn their language and their ways, eat their food, dress like they want you to. Never mind that no matter how much of a door mat you make of yourself, you are never going to make “them “ happy. You have already committed the unpardonable crime of swaying away their precious from his manly duty of marriage by momma’s choice. Of course they are not going to be happy. At best you can atone for your crime. And gallantly are you allowed to do so.

The laundry list of what you can and what you should wear is a mile long as are instructions and injunctions on how you can behave. Unreasonable, how dare you even think it is so. After all, you ungrateful wretch you need to be grateful enough for being allowed to marry the man you love. They let you get married, didn’t hey. And attended the wedding. Yes they bore expressions befitting a more mournful funeral, but then, you cannot expect them to forget their suffering. It is an out-of-region marriage. What? You and the significant other bore the wedding expenses. Well, how can you complain. It is your duty to. As also to ensure everyone is happy and not talking about you. How on earth would you know what they talk, see, the trials you make them undergo, you have not yet become proficient in their tongue.

There will be a session of waterworks. Thankfully the significant other is the one who will be bearing it. But it will be about you. About how much maternal love has been expended on him and how he.. here the words trail off under another deluge of tears. And of course you are highly presumptuous if you expect to be bid good bye properly at the airport. It is lucky they glance at you- son-stealer!

Weighed down by the jewelry and saris your doting parents lavished on you, you have not yet assessed your material gains from here as yet. Well there really is nothing much to go by. Ungrateful wretch- you denier of opportunity costs of lavish gifts” from weddings but how can non-insiders to their community understand how much face they have lost by accepting you.

Of course the list of crimes against you is huge. And really there is nothing you can do to make amends. They might get a little mellowed if you ensure a never ending supply of expensive perfumes and accessories, electronics as gifts for this that or the other. Also a couple of vacations with you- maybe more mellowed if it is in a foreign land, where they can lord over you.

And what happened now? The son expressed displeasure at their behavior. And refused to invest in some foolish financial scheme involving a respected member of the family. Witch, not two weeks into a marriage with him and already you are poisoning him against his respected progenitors. Oh and you blogged about the wedding. How dare you gloss over the celebrations on their side and pay more attention to your family.. There goes the email to your husband, “what do you think of what she wrote”…..

Funny how traditional Indian families take the family out of the whole thing, you fume and wonder about how it is that your family seems utterly happy with your wedding. And then it strikes you, biology of course. The effort it takes to produce the xx chromosome produces changes in the hormonal balance of the parents and forces them to regress to this unreasonable behavior where the cause of the production of that xx is concerned.