A Weirdity of Technology(C)

Wired Weird

Based on http://crunchgear.com/2007/10/10/smart-shopping-carts-headed-for-london-supermarkets/

“Too much soda” the shopping cart shrieked and determinedly steered me away from the drinks aisle. I had forgotten to select the “Party shopping” mode. So I selected another cart. “You already have a cart waiting on you.” Extra Coke was not to be. Neither chocolate chip cookies, banana nut fudge , caramel and even Oatmeal. But this was low calorie, unsweetened, heart healthy…. I had run out of my “Calorie limit” for the week.

It was late when I reached home, after being admonished by my car that I was driving too fast, then too slow, too rough and not turning on a wide enough radius. There was no rest when I reached home, instead there was a clamor of “Water the spider plant” “GO easy on the fuschias” “The electricity bill is due tomorrow” and “Did you pay your rent?”.

I tossed the keys into the bowl on the mantelpiece, only to hear “These belong in the tray by the door” Changing my clothes to more of “There are some creases left on the trousers” “Hang these in the other closet” and then washing up to sounds of “Have you cleaned your hands” I dispiritedly decided to nuke myself some mac and cheese . “ You ate that yesterday” said my microwave, adding maddeningly “Some broccoli and sprouts would be the best option.” The refrigerator was kinder, it only warned me about the expired milk but more or less left me to eat up cold fatty leftovers.

Ever since the smart cart, these smart technologies had become ever so commonplace. A spider’s web of technology was choking out our lives. Slowly insidiously taking over our very choices. Cheery maddening voices telling us what to eat, what to drink, what to wear.. clothes telling us we needed a bath, a shave, deodorant. It was effective, but infuriatingly weary. Whatever happened, I wondered of human initiative. The desire to do whatever it was that needed to be done in the cleanest, nicest, healthiest possible way sans direction. The voices inside our heads were being taken over by these voices programmed to tell us how to run our very lives. Why did we need machines, cold soulless monstewrs incapable of understanding warmth and feeling…

The door bell rang. I jumped to answer it. I just could not bear another “There is someone outside” . It was Cheryl. I wished I had opened the door with a better expression.

“Tired” she asked. “Not now” I wanted to say. But a “Yes” came out. Crazily I just could not get around to having smart sparkling conversation with her. “Well I saw you come in” “yes I had gone shopping” So much for intellectual stimulation, I sounded like I used to when I was 14. Whatever became of smart successful Roy who negotiated tough contracts.

“Ask her to sit down” hissed my couch.

She smiled and settled down. “So,” she began… “Offer her a drink” spoke the coffee table.

“Just Coke for me. Diet” and she smiled as I fumbled to the refrigerator and poured one out. Could she see how red faced I was, I looked into the kitchen sink, which reassured me “You are doing just fine” I came back and handed her the cut glass tumbler.

I scanned my mind for things to say. I had run out of them very quickly today. “Did you see the Cowboys yesterday” she was speaking. “Yes” I began and then my computer piped in “ I have booked tickets for both of your for the next game”. “Wow” she looked at me, her eyes shining.

Maybe there is something to be said about non-human initiative.